It's been quite a while and I hadn't actually planned to come back and write but I came here by accident so I figured, what the heck?
I won't go back and read much of what I last wrote...most of it is likely of little consequence now. So I will simply relate the current situation.
It has been a little over 3 years since I got my apartment and I am very happy and content here. I probably went a little overboard with the furniture but I like it. I feel like it is home now, even though technically it's not mine. I think about the 10's of thousands of dollars that have already been spent to live here. If I could only have been able to buy a house with it. Still, it's mine to do with mostly as I please. And I like it that way.
My social life has been up and down, but when hasn't it? I am not currently seeing anyone. I have a couple friends but no boyfriends. I did meet a guy yesterday that wants a physical relationship, but that is all. I might take him up on it. I am lonely for a warm body near mine.
But I love someone who is with someone else. I know he loves me too, but he can't hurt her....only me. I could hope things don't work out for them but I can't count on that. So I keep looking but not very successfully. There are a LOT of scammers on dating sites now that weren't there years ago and I get them all the time. I have learned to spot a lot of them and those I am not sure of, I make sure I don't give them any personal information until I AM sure. But the pickings are slimmer the older I get. It's frustrating....and I am lonely.
Covid did a number on my weight....and my diabetes. I am on insulin now and trying to get my sugar under control. I am also trying to eat better but sometimes it's hard when you are lonely and depressed. I did lose a little of the weight....4 pounds....but I need to lose a lot more.
I am trying to watch a movie....a Russian movie....as I type this. It's probably a good movie but I can't read the subtitles and type this....LOL! I may rewatch it at a later date. Russians make a lot of movies about the time of the revolution.
I planned on making this entry very upbeat...I guess I should have waited until I felt that way first.
I guess the bottom line is I am fortunate to have a nice roof over my head, clothes on my back, and I am safe. Hopefully, I will write again sooner and be in a little more pleasant frame of mind.
I am lonely.
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