Well, it's been about a month, and things have progressed faster than I expected. I suppose when something is right, it's right, and you can't deny it.
I never thought I would fall in love again... it's too disappointing. And so what did I do? LOL! But this time it's reciprocated. We both feel the same way. In fact, we were in bed together about a week ago (and I never expected THAT to happen, either) and he asked me if I thought it was too soon to talk about love. And what was freaky is that I was thinking the exact same thing before he said it! He says we are on the same wavelength, and I believe he is right. He is the sweetest, most loving man I have ever met...more demonstrative than Jim or Ron ever was. He loves to cuddle and is always kissing me all over. He says he doesn't know what he did to deserve me....no one EVER said that to me. If this is the love I end my life with, then "I" will be the one to wonder what I did to deserve it?
We have been to 4 different casinos since we met....he enjoys going and has been meeting his cousin there, so I met her too. She is funny and very nice. But I have collected nearly $1000 in winnings! He says I am really lucky, but I don't know. But I DO know I have enough money now to pay off my credit cards, and that is a MAJOR stress reliever! I never thought it would happen. And not only that, he insisted that I get cable TV so I can easily watch the baseball games, which he is paying for, as well as my internet and phone bill! It's enabling me to build back up the buffer I had in my checking account of a month's rent that I used to have, but was eating through it slowly. He told me he wants to help make my life easier. The only concern I have now is finding out next month what my rent will be, because it goes up every year. If it goes up another $150 a month, I will be back where I started. I can't move....the cost of other comparable apartments is more than I am paying now. Not to mention the cost of actually moving. So here I stay....just hoping they cut me a break this year.
I feel so happy....yet so scared. But that's me. I keep thinking this isn't going to last. But at the same time, I don't see it ending. Its simply my skepticism coming through, I can't quite quell it yet. But he is 7 years older than me, which wouldn't be an issue if we were younger, but who knows how long either of us has left. He walks with a cane, which he didn't do the night we met, and I know it's because he didn't want to look like an old man. That doesn't really bother me. He has other military-related physical issues. Again, they don't really bother me, but all will worsen the older he gets. It's funny, though....he seems more concerned about MY issues (I guess that's what love is all about). My back problems....he is always massaging my back. But he is strong...his upper body is more muscular than those of other men I have known. And he's not fat! I have no reason to be biased in that regard, but just for once, it's nice to have a man who doesn't have a belly separating us when we hug. Considering my weight loss, we fit together well.
Ok...enough for now. I have to get ready to go out...he is taking me to do a couple errands and then getting pizza for dinner. So nice to have things to look forward to now.
Song for the day.....Make Believe its Your First Time....because I am.
