What It Is

 Someone quoted that phrase to me yesterday. It always fits.

I actually forgot I even HAD this blog. Maybe I thought, because I am no longer in therapy, why bother?

I write for 2 reasons....the need to release the craziness in my head....and the thought that someone else might read it. Not expecting sympathy....hell, you can laugh if you want. 

Time does change things. The man I was seeing? Well....LOL...he is moving...and he is supposedly in love with someone else several states away and is moving in with her. He thinks I don't know. I am not stupid....he actively sought out someone he could flatter and woo, and he found one. So he is set now...he doesn't have to rent an apartment...he is taking all his stuff to her place, and he will live happily ever after? His track record is abysmal....2 divorces, cheated on 2 women (that I know of). And he's found another to be temporarily infatuated with....until he gets tired of her or she gets tired of him or he/she dies. But anyway, I couldn't care less. I still hang out with him as a "friend "on occasion until he's gone, and I will never see him again. The only regret I have is that I will be alone again, and the last thing I  want to do is go back on a dating site and look for another guy who turns out to be a loser. I was lucky twice in my life....maybe that's all I am entitled to. But my feelings for him are long gone....and that's a great thing!

He's taking me out to dinner tonight, as a payment for picking him up from the mechanic's place and taking him home, and that's fine. I can use him as easily as he used me. I thought MY self-esteem was bad....his is a LOT worse. His family lives around here...most of them anyway. But he doesn't care. I could never leave my family. He has many good qualities.....I couldn't have been with him at ALL if he didn't. But he has issues, and the women in his life end up as victims of his low self-worth. I don't know exactly when he is moving, but it doesn't matter. 

My daughter broke her leg and had a pin inserted. She is recuperating at my ex's because the bedroom in her apartment is 3 floors up and she can't get up them. I have gone over and helped her as much as I can. She is miserable, and I am hoping that when she goes back to the surgeon in a couple of days, he will put a boot on the leg, and she might be able to get around easier. Having her near has been a big boost to my mental health. 

But on the positive side, I started in earnest to lose weight, so as of a year ago last September, I am down 30 pounds! I still have 10 to go, and they will be the toughest to lose, but I am in no hurry. And as a result of the weight loss, I am OFF INSULIN!! No more shooting up 5 times a day! I only take oral meds now. It's SO liberating! I hardly know I am diabetic, except that I still use the CGM, which is a lifesaver. 

Another thing that has helped is doing the holiday shopping for my grandkids. My son gives me a $1,000 budget, and I have been good at choosing what they will like, even though I only see them twice a year. I love shopping with someone else's money. Makes Christmas so nice when you have kids to open presents!

That's enough for now. I am waiting to hear from the man so I can take him over to pick up his car. And oddly enough, I keep dozing off, and I can't do that. I  may remember to come back sooner next time.

Do I have a song? Good question. I can't think of one. I do want to get the new Beatles Anthology 4 CD... have the first 3. Its supposed to be good.