However, tomorrow I go to pick up my ESA..... a 9-week old Maltese puppy....
I am SO excited and happy. I have named him Qamar which means "snow" in Arabic. I think it's a cool name and very unique. And I think he is totally adorable and he and I are going to have a lot of fun together. And he will keep me company and active and give me purpose....all of which I need. I was very lucky to find him and not too far away. Most breeders are either too far or have no puppies available and I can't wait for months...I have already waited as long as I can. Besides, Qamar is just perfect! He is friendly and active and happy and all the things a puppy SHOULD be. And he wasn't too expensive which is a problem with Maltese....they are rarer and therefore normally cost thousands of dollars. My son is paying for Qamar and that is VERY generous of him. I still have had to pay for all the things I need to care for Qamar....its like having another baby except this one already walks. :D But I think I have pretty much everything I need....now I just need HIM. Tomorrow night can't come soon enough....it's been a week since I met him.
I have been continuing to organize things here. I tore the closets apart and have been moving things around making more room. I bought storage racks for the spare room and have been organizing things into clear bins so I know what I have. I went through all my clothes and have a bag set aside for donation. I was able to get all my clothes into 2 flat bins and a plastic storage box with drawers....that emptied out 3 large bins! But I still need a dresser to fit the clothes I have for wearing....I did hang a lot in the closet but I don't trust the clothes rod.... it's bowing a bit from the weight. But I need a dresser anyway.
I know this blog has mostly been for relaying my mental journey and I may have neglected that a bit. But I think it means that things are getting better. I may never be totally "normal" but I am less depressed and anxious. I still have panic attacks but I hope they will lessen when Qamar gets here. I still see my psychiatrist once a month and talking helps....or I think it does. I still get wrung out when I am there....facing my issues gets harder and harder. But compared to where I was a year ago, things HAVE improved. I have a home of my own...,my physical independence if not my financial....soon to have puppy friend....the holidays are coming and there will be parties and family get-togethers. Its a great time of year.
Oh....and I have lost 10 pounds! My clothes fit better and I feel better, too. I still have 20 pounds to go but I will get there.
And I did finally get the money from the government. It's not as much as I would have hoped but it IS helping...especially with things I need in the apartment and for the puppy. And I splurged. I have always wanted to go see "The Nutcracker" ballet since I saw it when I was in my early 20's and got stuck sitting behind a POST! Well, I got balcony tickets with NOTHING to block my view. It wasn't cheap but its something I really want. My boyfriend is going to take me...we are BOTH looking forward to it. The performance is a month away.
I plan on purchasing a couple more pieces of furniture for the apartment and then put whatever is left into an investment account. Not a fortune but hopefully it will gain a little and I will be able to use it for other things before I get too old.,,,,maybe even a trip somewhere.
Today's song is "I'm Gonna Buy Me a Dog" by the Monkees. Its a silly song but it kinda fits. :) I hope your Thanksgiving if you celebrate, is a happy one!
