Not sure what compelled me to think about this blog, but it popped into my head so I came here and I didn't realize it's been SO long since I posted anything. A lot can happen in a year +...and has.
I had 2 kidney stones.....one passed on its own in February but the second did not. From Memorial Day until the middle of August, I suffered...first with the stone and then with the surgery and the aftermath. I lost the entire summer...all I did was sit around and get fat and be depressed. I missed my vacation and spending time with my brother who was visiting from Japan. I never realized how awful a kidney stone could be....I wouldn't wish it on anyone. And I still have my share of the hospital bill that Medicare didn't pay that I have to. I hope I never have to deal with any of that BS again!
Then in September, I totaled my SUV. I have NO recollection of how it happened,,,,.I have gone over and over it in my mind SO many times but I just don't know exactly, Thankfully, I hit a parked landscaping trailer so no one else was involved. All I got was a skinned knee but the car got it bad. I got the money from the insurance company but it's not enough to get another decent vehicle so I am saving for a new one. Will probably take another year because I can't finance a car on my own....I don't make enough money. So I am relying on my male friend/lover to take me to most places. I hate not having a car....I am not used to being this isolated. And it makes me have frequent panic attacks. Not fun,
I had to read my last entry to remind myself what I wrote so I could address some things. The man I was seeing I am still seeing. Is it a perfect situation? Not even close. But it's better than being totally alone. He has been really sweet in helping to take me places ....the grocery store, and such. But the most amazing thing he did was he bought tickets to see The Music Man in NY....not cheap! He also paid for the train to get to NY for us. I paid for lunch at Rosie O'Grady's (he paid the tip) and the subway which was only a couple dollars. Then he guided me around Manhattan and we saw the tree at Rockefeller Center and a few other sights. It was fun, exciting....just amazing! This is the kind of man he is. He said he wanted to do this for me because he knew how much I wanted to see that show. I will never forget the day.
But he is still with another woman and she stays with him part-time. It kills me inside. I tried to break it off but I was a total mess (he told me he was miserable, too). I couldn't handle it. I tried dating sites....only found scammers and players. So I took him back. I have been more content even though I wish for more. I can't help how I feel. I have never met anyone like him, nor am I likely to in the future.
Christmas is around the corner now and I am attempting to decorate the apartment to the nines.... the first time I have done that in a couple years. I want it to look special for my grandkids. It's like Christmas Town...LOL! I am just finishing up trimming the tree....the last thing to do. I have enough ornaments for TWO trees, but I will get them all on somehow. Then I have to clean up the boxes and stuff and wrap presents and I will be ready. My ex wants me to cook for his after-Christmas party as well as clean his house. I am not looking forward to that but I need the money. I just hope my back can take the strain.
Maybe I will be back before another year passes. Maybe this coming year will be better....can't be much worse, that's for sure. Happy Gnu Year1
