Into the Light

Today I got out of bed even though I was still tired and lamenting because I was having a pretty nice dream and didn't want to wake up from it. I got dressed in my comfy jeans, new high/low sweater and put on my black dress boots with some pleasure, as the weather was now cool enough to pull them out of the closet at last. Brushed, flossed and picked my teeth in preparation for my dental appointment later in the day. I liken it to someone cleaning up their house before the cleaning lady gets there. And I never could understand women that do their hair before they go to the salon. But perhaps a dirty, smelly mouth is more offensive than dirty, unkempt hair.

I got my teeth cleaned and x-rays showed no problems, as usual. And it was painful doling out the $405 dollars in cash for a year of treatment.  My next visit will be free and I suppose when that time comes I will be thankful.  I did pick up a list of the insurance plans they take for future reference even though I have made a promise to myself not to dwell on the future. ....especially one I am not certain of one way or the other.

Afterward I drove down the street to the cemetery where my parents are buried to see the grave. Pulled out some weeds growing around the front and looked at the rose bush I had planted behind the headstone several years before. It really likes that spot....grows like a weed. I will be meeting my brother there on Wednesday morning to prune back the bush. Ron and I used to do it every fall. It won't be quite the same but at least it will be done for another year.

I stopped at Boston Market for lunch and got a turkey sandwich and a Coke.  Being diabetic,  I had given up Coke, but lately I have been needing it.....mostly for comfort. (I will get off it again soon. ...I promise.) Then I went over to A.C. Moore and bought some yarn. I want to find a nice hat and scarf pattern.....not for me but for a gift. Not sure who yet but someone will like it, I am sure.

I lit a Yankee Candle this evening. ..haven't done that since I packed up and left the condo. It's Balsam and it smells nice.  I am going to do whatever is in my limited power to do to keep myself happy. It has been nearly 10 months since Ron died. I am not over my grief but I don't have to stop grieving or forgetting to take some steps...even baby ones....to try to recover some normalcy in my life. I know I will get it back. Just not sure how long it will take this time.

I tend to think of things in terms of songs I know.....and at my age I know a lot of them.  I hear something that reminds me of a song and suddenly it's running through my head and coming out my mouth.  I don't have to hear a song to be reminded of one.....a phrase, a sentence and off goes my mind on another musical journey. Today's song was I Can Hear Music by the Beach Boys. You can hear it....can't you?