I more often than not, get a call from my therapist at the spur of the moment to come over for my session. That happened yesterday, which was fine by me....it meant I didn't have to go today.
Therapy is in the eye of the beholder. No delving into my past....no behavior modification....which is a good thing, really. I am at the point in my life where trying to find a way to cure myself of anxiety and panic is pretty much a lost cause. So what DO we do? We just chat about whatever happened in the past week. I do tell her if I had an especially tough week, depressionwise, and why. But its mostly like 2 friends getting together for an hour and chattiing. TBH, its less stressful for me....talking too much about my problems just makes me even MORE depressed. I think she realizes that. She is the most unconventional therapist I have ever had, which is probably why she has been successful. She told me that she lost one of her clients that day....shot in the back. She was pretty upset. I can certainly understand that. She told me the girl made the mistake of not staying away from people and places which are known to be dangerous. I can't imagine why a person would take such a chance. The girl was 19.
So today I met my brother at the cemetery and we pruned back the rose bush....its good for another year. Then we had some time to kill so we walked around the cemetery and checked out some of the older headstones. I am a bit of a history buff and my brother majored in history in college. It was interesting to see the ages of some of the people and even the ages of children that died. One family had 2 children die on the same day.....a fire, perhaps? Or a tragic accident. One man's family had it put on his stone that he was killed by a car.....in 1898! How many cars could have been on the road that he got hit by one? And there were several "residents" that were veterans of the Civil War....would have been interesting to have known someone who fought in that. Anyway, to me its interesting. I will go back again to walk there and check out more old stones and wonder about the families and their lives. And its a nice place to walk.
Afterward, we drove a short distance to a small restaurant in the town where my brother treated me to lunch. We had been there for a luncheon after my mother's funeral several years ago. We chose to eat outside and except for one pesky bee that insisted on buzzing around my brother's stout it was very pleasant. We both had the same thing....bacon cheeseburgers (I was really in a burger mood) and it was delicious! Cooked exactly to order and the french fries were good too. I am not a beer person so I had decaf tea. The server brings out this bowl of assorted teas but all I wanted was plain old, plain old. Or Earl Grey. But, no....they had orange, mint, SOOTHING.....but no piain old tea. So I ended up choosing a lemon flavored one...which tasted like fake lemon. As a result, it wasn't very good. But I got a glass or water too, which I drank rather heartily. Brother and I talked about baseball (which we both love) and politics (we both lean towards being liberal, though not radically so) and I caught him up on my situation so far. I also gave him money my other brother transferred to my checking account for next years baseball season tickets. Both my older brothers have season tickets....5 seats combined....so I get to go to the games as well.
After I bid farewell to my brother, I drove to the local mall and decided to walk around there a bit. I picked up some "kicks" for my Shopkick account and a birthday gift for my daughter. I think she will like it. Her birthday is less than 2 months away.
Right now I am trying to build myself up to wanting to go do some housecleaning this weekend for someone. I brushed it off last week but I need the money so it must be done. Then next week I have another housecleaning job to do. I always am glad I do this afterward....its the doing it that I have trouble with. It is good exercise, though, which I do need.
I found a Kindle lying around so I decided to try getting it to work. I charged it up and found out it had The Hunger Games on it so I started reading it. I may or may not finish it. But dispite the way out premise, its an interesing read.
Tomorrow its off to the gym to get a shower....my last one was Sunday morning. I will explain why I haven't had a shower in 4 days in my next missive. I don't have a song for today.....it was a very laid back kind of day and my mind didn't focus on any particular one. But that's a rare occurance....believe me.